


Five times Will was a huge tv geek and one surprising time he wasn't.

by justmarcialima



Series: Five times + [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Boners, Crack, Dork Will, Dorks in Love, Full House - Freeform, Game of Thrones - Freeform, Geek Will, Hannibal's Cooking, M/M, Mention of rapist but someone kills him., Murder, Murder Husbands, Sexy undertones, Sherlock - Freeform, a lot of quoting, brooklyn nine nine - Freeform, castle - Freeform, crackfic, kind of, pushing daisies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:03:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmarcialima/pseuds/justmarcialima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I feel like the summary is redundant with the title.<br/>The fic is mainly what the title is saying.</p><p>Also I apologize. Formatting turned the bars into little balls. But I needed the bold highlighter and I didn't knew how to change. Hope you enjoy anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Will was a huge tv geek and one surprising time he wasn't.

**Author's Note:**

> The first idea I had for this fanfic was because of little Stephanie's catchphrase in Full House "How rude!" and it excalated quickly from that.

  1. Pushing Daisies.



It was Will’s birthday and he was officially freaking out. Hannibal had the crazy idea to throw him a party on his house and invite all his coworkers, plus he invited a lot of people that Will didn’t even knew who they were. All he wanted was to spend the day in bed with his dogs, reading a book or marathoning a good TV show. Maybe Hannibal could make an appearance with one of his delicious dishes. Will would be happy with just that, but no! His fancy friend had to be a pretentious fucker and throw him a birthday party where he had to get dressed in nice clothes and even worse! Socialize with people. Will was enraged and uncomfortable to be making small talk with everyone. Right now he was just sulking in a corner, nursing a glass of bourbon and thinking in the most gruesome ways to murder Hannibal.

  * You’re looking chipper, Will. – Alana said in an ironic tone.
  * I’m gonna set him on fire. That’s how I’m gonna murder him. – He said in a final tone and Alana laughed.
  * Oh my God, Will. That’s horrible.
  * **Musing on the idea of setting someone on fire doesn’t mean you really want to set them on fire. It’s just the thought of it that makes you happy.** – He mumbled.
  * Huh, I feel like I heard that before somewhere. – Alana mused over her glass of wine. Will rolled his eyes.
  * If you excuse me, **I’ll be in the kitchen rationalizing my panic attack.** – With that he was off to Hannibal’s expensive kitchen and was only that it clicked on Alana’s mind.
  * Oh my God, Will was quoting Pushing Daisies at me!



 2. Castle

The day was chilly in the crime scene but inside the victim’s house was colder. The heater had to be turned off so it didn’t destroy further evidence and everybody was cranky. The last psychopath they were hunting targeted mystery writers and posed their victim’s bodies in famous murder scenes from best seller books. Surprisingly Will was the only one in a good mood and Hannibal was intrigued by it. Usually Will was always in terrible mood in crime scenes, but today he was chipper.

  * Good morning, Jack. – He said as he encountered the man.
  * You’re in a good mood. – Jack sounded confused.
  * It’s probably the caffeine talking. – Will shrugged. – So what do we have?
  * 25 year old Caucasian female, two bullet wounds on the chest from a .22 caliber. She was found naked in a bed of red roses and with sunflowers on her eyes. There are no signs of sexual abuse, though. We didn’t figure out yet which book the murder is from.



Will smirked and both Hannibal and Jack frowned.

  * **There are two kinds of people who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.** – He paused for effect to see if any of his colleagues would pick up his “Castle” reference. Nobody did and he rolled his eyes. – The book is Flowers for your Grave. You didn’t find it because it’s an imaginary book from a character who is a writer on a TV show. That means our killer is running out of options or this victim is different. There’s a story to that. **There’s always a story**. – He paused again for good measure. – Seriously? No one?



He huffed.

  * Let me alone so I can analyze the crime scene. – He rolled his eyes and walked to the bedroom were the victim was, mumbling under his breath about how he was never going to say **“Always”** to them.


  1. Brooklyn Nine-Nine



It was again another dinner at Hannibal’s house but for Will’s sake they were alone this time. Hannibal had cooked a fancy and pretentious meal with human meat, Will was uncomfortable. The usual scenario. Will had even dressed up for the occasion, but he wasn’t particularly happy. The case and the killer they were investigating had a tool on his mind and he felt like he was disintegrating which made him incredibly rude. If Will was someone else, Hannibal would have already killed and eaten him but the profiler was special and Hannibal found his rudeness appealing instead of annoying.

  * Did you enjoy your food, Will? – He asked as they finished eating and moved to the living room for a drink.
  * It was ok. – Will sighed and sat down of the couch, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.
  * Just ok? – Hannibal felt a little tug on his heart that he refused to acknowledge as disappointment.
  * Yes, although your food is always exquisite. I’m not in the mood today. – He opened his eyes and recited in a flat and emotionless tone. – **I have zero interest in food. If it were feasible, my diet would consist entirely of flavorless beige smoothies containing all the nutrients required by the human animal.** – Will smirked at Hannibal’s horrified gasp. Of course it wasn’t Will’s real opinion but he loved to play with his psychiatrist. And it was even better when he could quote his favorite TV shows. See, he was in a better mood already. He even forgot about the murderer they were chasing. – I’m kidding, Hannibal. – Will smiled and Hannibal visibly relaxed. – If I could die from eating something it would be your food.
  * I’m glad. – The man turned to prepare their drinks. – You seem uptight, let’s loosen you up.
  * **Name of our sex tape**. – Will mumbled incoherently. Hannibal turned to him.
  * What was that? – He asked, having truly not heard Will.
  * I said that whisky is fine. – Will smiled innocently.


  1. Full House.



It was raining in Brazil and Will and Hannibal couldn’t believe their bad luck. How come they came to a country that was famous for its sun and it was raining all the time? It was still warm enough for their acclimatized bodies but for the rest of the country it was freezing cold. And the rain never stopped. They had arrived two weeks ago and never saw the sun once. After the fall Hannibal and Will were always on the move. They never stayed if the place wasn’t perfect enough for their demands and they were still looking for somewhere perfect. Brazil wasn’t ideal. Even without the rain they still had problems, like both of them didn’t speak Portuguese and just a few people in Brazil spoke English or Spanish for that matter. Hannibal was learning but even he found the language difficult and if Hannibal found something difficult, it probably was impossible, or at least was what Will thought.

  * Where are we going next? – They were walking on the busy street, sharing an umbrella.
  * Maybe Argentina? At least we can speak Spanish. – He said and Will laughed.
  * You’re really taking this seriously huh? Not being able to pick up the language in the first try.
  * It can’t be that difficult. I know how to speak various difficult languages. Maybe it’s you who’s distracting me. – Hannibal accused.
  * **How rude**. – Will said and instantly snickered. It wasn’t his intention to quote Full House but now he wasn’t going to stop.
  * That’s something I would say. – Hannibal said.
  * It’s also something that a four year old would say as a catchphrase. – He mumbled under his breath.
  * What did you said? – Hannibal asked, while closing his umbrella and entering the house they were currently living.
  * Oh nothing. – They took off their coats and their wet shoes, entering the living room. – Hey, Hannibal!
  * Yes? – His lover turned to him with a confused expression.
  * Kiss me. – He smiled. – Go wild.



Hannibal went to him with an eyebrow raised.

  * Strange request but I’m not complaining.



He grabbed Will’s waist with one hand and the other he buried in his lover’s dark curls, closing the distance of bodies and mouths in a mind blowing kiss that turned Will’s legs into jelly.

  * **Have mercy!** – Will said as soon as they separated. Hannibal couldn’t even question anything because Will kissed him again and started to wander to the bedroom.


  1. Game of thrones.



Hannibal and Will were hunting a rude and cruel man that got off in killing, raping and torturing animals and women. Will wasn’t inclined to kill since the fall anymore but this man was an exception. This man deserved to die in the most gruesome way and Hannibal was there to assist him. They were currently sitting on a filthy bar watching their prey drink and party with a smile on his face unaware he was going to be dead in a few hours.

  * **His joy will turn to ashes in his mouth**. – Will growled. For some reason quoting Game of Thrones made the moment even more exciting for Will.
  * Indeed, it will. – Hannibal said, watching their victim get up and walk out of the establishment. Soon the two of them followed him through the dark streets and alleys. – It’s time to unleash the beast, Will. – He looked at his lover’s face.
  * **I wish I was the monster you think I am.** – He caressed Hannibal’s face. – But I’m not. This is justice not straight up murder.
  * As you wish, my love. – Hannibal said as they started walking faster. They turned into an alley and were surprised by the man, who apparently wasn’t as drunk as they thought he was. He managed to hit Hannibal in the face, cutting one of his sharp cheekbones as he hit the pavement. Will only saw red as the pig hit his husband. Hannibal and he had reached an agreement where they were going to drug the douchebag and take him to the basement in his home to torture him properly, but Will right now only wanted him dead so he grabbed the knife in his pocket and jumped on the man’s back, slashing his throat and painting the street red with blood.
  * **The things that I do for love**. – He rolled his eyes as the lifeless body of the fucker laid on his feet.
  * Will, that wasn’t the plan. – Hannibal got up and brushed his clothes of dirt.
  * I know but he hurt you. I don’t care if he killed thousands of people, hurting you is something only I can do. – He winked and Hannibal rolled his eyes, pecking his lips slightly.



The cannibal looked down at the mess Will had made and did a disapproving tsk sound with his mouth.

  * This is chaos.
  * **Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder.** – Will smirked. He was on fire today with all his quotes, but the truth probably was that Game of Thrones just had a lot of death, like his life, so everything fit together. – Let’s clean up this mess before anyone sees us.



+1 – Sherlock

After their first kill together, they spent a lot of time without killing in each other’s companies, mainly because Will messed the last one and he thought Hannibal should be the one doing the killing from now on, since he had more experience. Hannibal thought Will only had to find the right pig to kill and the opportunity presented itself to them on a silver platter. Freddie Lounds was in town and the hunt season was open.

They prepared everything and agreed in not going off script this time. They loved Argentina but found better to flee the country after the last murder fiasco, but now there was no way they were leaving Denmark anytime soon. Both of them had great jobs, a good house, friendly neighbors, five dogs and a daughter and there was no way they were risking it. Hannah, their five year old daughter was sleeping on the babysitter house, the dogs were asleep upstairs and Freddie Lounds was ready to become meat in their basement. Currently the ginger disaster was sobbing on the plastic covered ground, tied up while both of them were taking their time sharpening their knifes and brainstorming on a artistic way to expose her but not reveal themselves to the world at the same time with their designs. But they couldn’t think right because Freddie didn’t stop sobbing and mumbling to let her go.

  * **Oh shut up, Freddie. You lower the IQ of the whole street.** – Hannibal said, surprising Will and leaving him in awe of his husband.
  * Did you just quoted Sherlock to our victim? – Will dropped his large butcher knife on the table and walking closer to Hannibal.
  * – Hannibal smirked. – I know that over the years you’ve been quoting TV shows nonstop in the most inopportune of times and thought that maybe I could give it a try since it amuses you so much.



Will grabbed the collar of his husband’s shirt and whispered against his lips.

  * **I would have you right here on this desk until you begged for mercy twice.** – He almost growled, caging Hannibal against the desk and rubbing his erection against his husband’s thigh without even caring if Freddie was still there.
  * **I never begged for mercy in my life. –** Hannibal smiled, grabbing his lover’s bottom and crushing their bodies together, making Will feel his erection.
  * **Twice.** – With that Will kissed Hannibal and they forgot for maybe three hours that Freddie was still there. Hannibal did beg in the end, but Will did too.



**Author's Note:**

> I always said first season Will was a lot like me, so it felt logical to me that as much as he hated socializing he would at least watch one tv show while alone at home.


End file.
